Last week I shared the first homeschool myth and while that is the one people (non-homeschoolers) mention to me the most, this one is probably the hottest topic in regards to homeschool myths.

Today’s myth is on the topic of socialization.

 

 

Generally when I’ve had people ask me about this they usually say something to the effect of:

 

“But aren’t you worried about socialization?”

 

My regret is that I have not asked these people to clarify what they mean by socialization.

Though I think they are getting at the fact that they think that homeschool kids won’t be able to function in social settings, especially ones where they are with a group of kids their same age.

 

 

It was about two years into our homeschool journey before I first had this question asked of me and I almost had to laugh out loud. It was asked at a birthday party and my kids were off playing with the birthday child and the questioner’s child was clutching to her and refusing to play. Um, whose kids are you worried about being socially awkward?

The truth is that I have a child who is on the shy side and takes a little while to warm up (but once she is, good luck trying to stop her!). And then I have another child who has never met a stranger in his life.

Funnily my shy-ish child went to preschool and kindergarten and my other one has only ever been homeschooled.

I don’t think homeschooling is a good indicator of a child’s future social skills.

Yes, some homeschool parents shelter their kids and never teach them to interact with the public, but that is a very small portion of homeschoolers.

Also, the most socially awkward family I’ve ever known went to public school.

School isn’t the best indicator of social adeptness.

I usually find that kids turn out as socially awkward (or not) as their parents, no matter what their school background has been.

 

 

The general idea in the world is that school is the only place children can learn socialization skills but have you ever been in a school classroom yourself? Have you ever heard a teacher tell the students they aren’t there to socialize?

My kindergarten report card actually said “Chantel talks too much.”

Hmm, I guess I didn’t get the memo.

Also, if there is an environment I want my kids to learn socializing skills in it’s not one where they are surrounded by 20 children the same age as them. No matter how well socialized those children are they are still children, not the best example for the skills I want my children to learn.

 

 

I love that as homeschoolers when we get together with another homeschooling family or group the kids aren’t worried about what grade the kids are all in and only willing to play with those in the same grade as them.

I love that my six year old son’s best friends are eight and almost ten and they don’t look down on him because he is only in grade one.

As I am typing this my oldest two both have friends over and they are all playing together and they are including the (almost) two year old in their play.

 

 

We do not homeschool because we want to shelter our children but I do like the fact that I can have a say on which friends my kids spend time with. We’ve hung around some poor influences before (homeschooled and not) but because we do need to make more of an effort to have play dates than those who just go to school and play with the kids around them, I can limit the time they spend with kids that are a negative influence and increase the time they spend with those who are a positive influence.

Really, it’s the same thing I do with my own life.

 

 

When some people talk about socialization I think they assume homeschoolers just stay locked inside their houses all day and never venture out. While some homeschoolers may do this we often have the opposite problem.

There are so many different play date, field trip, learning opportunities, etc out there some weeks we hardly have enough time at home to do any sit down school work!

 

What are your thoughts on homeschooling and socialization?
Any homeschool myths you want me to address in the future?

Having my kids out and about during the school day often brings out a lot of questions. When people find out that we homeschool about 75% of them say something to the effect that they would never have enough patience to homeschool.

I’ve been thinking a lot about that comment over the last number of years and thought it would make the first homeschool myth I want to bust.

 

 

You Need to Have Extra Patience to Homeschool – Homeschool Myth #1

 

Can I just start things out by saying that I have no more patience than the average parent (I honestly probably have less patience than the average parent).

 

“I would never have enough patience to homeschool.”

 

When I hear that comment it always makes me feel like they think homeschoolers begin homeschooling because they have an abundance of natural patience.

When people make that comment I wonder what they are imaging homeschool looks like?

Are they picturing a classroom setting where there are 20-ish children?
Most families don’t have quite that many children so that isn’t an accurate representation.

Are they imagining that “school” needs to take place during normal school hours and sitting in a desk?
While it can, we, and most homeschoolers, definitely don’t operate that way.

Are they thinking about how little patience they normally have with their kids?
I think this is usually what they are thinking and I always want to tell them my little secret: I felt like I needed less patience with my kids and liked them better when we started homeschooling. I think there were two main reasons for this:

First, my daughter used to come home from school completely exhausted but now I could hang out with her when she was in her prime of the day.

Second, my kids know that I am the teacher, there is none of this “Well, Mrs. So-and-So tell us to do things this way.”

Oh, and bonus: when we started homeschooling my kids really became each other’s best friends. And even though they are pretty much complete opposites in every.single.way. they get along better when they spend more time together.

And truthfully, maybe I don’t need less patience but I’ve just had extra time to practice my patience.

 

 

Yes, homeschooling does take patience, but if you are homeschooling in the way that is best for your family, it really doesn’t take any more patience than parenting in general, and I may even argue some days it takes less patience!

 

Do you think homeschooling takes more patience than regular homeschooling? Any myths you think I should cover in the future?